THE BOOK of INCEPTION (selections)
(recently discovered and transcribed from the original gibberish)
CHAPTER the FIRST.
- And it came to pass that the goddess of philosophy called bonjee did begin to blog. And there was great rejoicing.
- And lo, she did look upon her blog, and did christen it ‘phlog‘ for ‘philosopher’s log.’ But phlog was not primarily of philosophy,
- nay, had very little with it, for the goddess bonjee found her diversity of interests was something desirous to be revealed. And thus, in the fullness of time, phlog did meet this desire,
- and grew into a revelation whereupon her many creative and observing insights wert to all shewn for what by troth they were.
- And thence was the purpose of phlog conceived.
- And lo, many came who had desire of intellectual flaggelation for mental stimulation, and they found a phlogging of a lifetime—
- And there within the entries of phlog man found commentaries full of wit, interesting insights, recipes of great worth, digressions of a political and religious, yea, even of a social nature,
- wry observations, conversations, thoughts about the nations, random clips of video and still, Schopenhauer’s will, Will and Grace, Gray’s Anatomy, Tummy rubs for cats, categorical imperatives, reparatives, perjoratives, comparatives, split infinitives, and decorative demonstratives, rants, chants, chance, trance remixes, fixes, elixers, fixer uppers, uppers, supper musings,
- bemusements, amusements, sundry oozements, poetics, prosaics, aesthetics, aenemics, philosophies, dichotomies, lobotomies, a cat named Aumi, gloom, doom, Hume, picayune, cartoons,
- lists, trysts, missed fists, and Liszt, Nietzsche and Sartre, carts, charts and maps, maps of trips, trips on acid, acid wit, witty repartees, parties, smarties, and tardy Astarte,
- habits, obits, mortuaries, missionaries, fiduciary faries, fairy godmothers, mother of pearl, pearls of wisdom, Dum Dums, the Doldrums, Tweedle Dum and the Cheshire Cat, Cat o’ Nine Tails, A Tale of Two Cities, City Lights, lights on a thousand hills, Grandma Hill, Hillsboro Oregon, origami, gamey puns, punishments,
- Crime and Punishment, Dostoevsky and Tolstoy, stories and lyrics, ear aches, health tips, ships, shoes, sealing wax, plaques, flax, facts, saxes and clarinets, active epithets, bits of tatting, rat a tat tatting, ancillaries, adversaries, arbitrary coronaries, necessary preliminaries, prolegomenaries, quandaries, legendary vagaries,
- sublunary sancturaries, syllabaries, topiaries, tributaries, and vocabularies.
- And behold, it was very good.
- But phlog did suddenly and with no warning keel over.
- And many did wail and moan, crying “woe! woe!”, beating their breasts, tearing their garments, pouring ashes upon their heads, and otherwise making much with the sad faces.
- So bonjee moved upon the face of the internet, and did find a meet replacement,
- and she christened it, like that which it would replace, ‘phlog.’ And there was much rejoicing.
CHAPTER the SECOND.
- But came upon phlog resurrected something heretofore unknown by phlog:
- categorical and catastrophic incantations from the sage mrrouw. Thence saw the creation the interjection of mrrouw.
- And mrrouw spake of the one true bonjee, bonjee at home with the hill people, with the academicians and accolytes;
- like a breeze through the wasteland, mrrouw spake against the seeming trivial injustices of the plebian life, tho’ few were the number that did heed and give ear to her yodel.
- And mrrouw did lift her shaggy head and cried out to the hard wood and carpet, in a loud voice saying,
- A day may come
- When the courage of men fails,
- When we forsake our friends,
- And break all bonds of fellowship.
- But it is not this day.
- An hour of wolves,
- And shattered shields,
- When the age of men comes crashing down.
- But it is not this day!
- This day we fight.
- By all that you hold dear, on this good earth,
- I bid you stand!
- And bonjee did, from the heights of her lofty places, look down upon mrrouw and spake unto her, saying,
- And mrrouw came upon silence for the sun thence seemed dark to her eyes, and she did sulk in the stillness of her heart.
- And lo, phlog increased in stature and scope.
- Now it came to pass that bonjee invited her sister goddess littlemistress to aid her in the ongoing creation of phlog.
- And littlemistress found pleasure in her heart and a smile upon her goodly face from the consideration of such a meet task,
- and she said unto bonjee in honeyed words, “Sure, why not?”
- And lo, she was the pink of perfection, and pure reason and sweet rhyme came to fruition from the collaboration of the two great ones and mrrouw, their faithful fuzzface.