Updates on the Forbes top 15

Okay, so the (retitled) posting about the top 15 wealthiest fictional characters was advertised as the latest, then BAM! the latest actually came out. Ah, me. Best I can do is update here, too, so no one is misinformed as to how the fictional wealthy live.

By the way, Santa has dropped from the list, being, yes, still infinitely wealthy, but proven with much circumstantial evidence not to be fictional. Note the reasoning here.

In any case, that moves Daddy Warbucks to the big #1 spot. Other changes are as follows:

15. Mario. Collecting gold coins is more than just a hobby for some. It’s an investment. And heck, who said coin collecting isn’t glamorous?

14. Lara Croft stays put.

13. Tony Montana. Yeah, the war on drugs has done him well. Keep them prices high! Just say no!

12. Lucius Malfoy has gone up in the world, even though still down in a tightly-guarded Azkaban dungeon cell.

11. Even though the British regulation committee is befuddled by his management selection process by “golden ticket”, Willy Wonka remains comfortably on the list.

10. Thurston Howell III also has stuck it out, despite rumored whistle-blower known only by the alias “Gilligan.”

9. A new and important addition to the list! Prince Abakili of Nigeria is well known to have buckets of money that he needs to get out of the country, with a little help from a broadband connection and softheaded email recipients. From his many mailings:

Once a trustworthy stranger has opened communications with PRINCE ABAKLIKI, he will send a LETTER OF AUTHORITY to them, so that they may clear the fund and invest the money for him. For their services, the lucky stranger will receive 30% of the $50.000.000 US DOLLARS.

8. Tony Stark. With a technologically superior artificial heart and friendship with “Iron Man”, how could he have been off the list for so long?

7. Bruce Wayne still here, silently watching over the financial integrity of Gotham.

6. Now here’s one we didn’t expect a comeback from, especially after the demise of Reaganomics and the 80s “Greed is Good” mantra. But Bush has done Mr. Monopoly well, bringing him back to an advisory capacity over Iraqi restoration.

5. Yep. Jed Clampett has hung on, even despite all the oil pressures. Actually, the Russian shenanigans have only helped him.

4. And the rich little brat hangs on, especially at his eternal position of ten-year-old. He was rumored to have auditioned for the lead in “The Bachelor”, but the networks laughed him off the set. No matter. He wasn’t willing to abandon Gloria any way–it was just a publicity stunt. That rascal!

3. Scrooge McDuck is doing well, especially as avian flu scares are lessening.

2. Mister Burns has seen an amazingly great year, moving to the number two position on the list. He claims it has nothing to do with his under-the-table agreements with Kim Jong Il. And his talks with Iran were only for nuclear power, not for weapons technology.

1. As noted above, this leaves Daddy Warbucks in the #1 position. He’s also seen benefits from the Bush administration, accepting oil well maintenence rights to the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. His philantropic enterprises have taken a brillant turn by teaming up with Bono. Their motto? “Tomorrow is Only A Day Away.”


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